The Artist formerly known as Peg I am officially un-mad at my coach. we talked, and she really shared with me how she is just as much of a chickenshit as I am, as we all are, but the difference is, she does not let it run her. It was also brought to my attention that The pseudo-title "Peg" may be a little too close to her actual name, so from now on, I will refer to her as or Steve. I am officially back in love with Steve, and I look forward to letting Steve in, to really stick it to me whenever my ass needs discipline. Steve, I am your bitch! Next up my room!

Breakdown City

Not to be confused with "Brokedown Palace" The horrid Claire Danes vehicle. To think that for a minute, I actually liked her racist ass...

Folks, I am in some serious bad loop kind of stuff. First, I have not written anything that you guys have seen in forever. I appologize for that, although I must inform you that there are two posts I wrote that were eaten by Blogger. If I can retrieve the "lost posts", I'll attempt to repost them. For now, I have created Blogpad, a notepad file to write in offline that I can keep intact if there are problems like those I faced earlier this month.

Next issue... The state of my space. My room is a Puni-sty. Hogs would not live in it. The mess is 80% dirty laundry, so a couple of hours at the the laundromat will fix it, right? No such luck. I do not have ample storage for my stuff, so I will probably end up with a clean pile of clothes where the dirty ones were. I have resisted cleaning up for a week now, what's up with that? I am usually clutter boy, but not Mr. Disgusto.

I am mad at my coach, Peg. I am being a spoiled child, throwing tantrums and making it all her fault. I am trying to learn how to be an effective speaker, but I get really pissed off when, without any preparation, I try to wing it, and go down in flames. It's like I want to go from crawling to riding a unicycle while juggling. I really like Peg, and pity her for being stuck trying to motivate my irritating ass. So I admit, I am really mad at myself and thrusting it on her. I hope she is not learning to hate me.

Then there is NYC... She is an AWESOME girl. She totally takes care of me in every way, and sees me as way bigger than I see myself. She deserves the world. Where we disagree is she thinks she deserves me, and I don't. I do not think that I can be what she wants in a man. It comes down to the fact that although I love her, I don't see her as "life partner" at this time. At the same time, I have a sneaking suspicion that I will realize that she is exactly that for me as soon as she gives up on me and finds someone else to make happy.

How have you been?