Now is the time!

Okay, I was sick this morning. When I awoke, I had a splitting headache, and just in general did not feel good. Maybe because I was stopped in my pursuit of Project Greenlight, maybe it was other things, but I went back to bed. I finally woke up again at 11:30! So I got on myself for that for a few, and got off it and started making calls. I am now totally energized, so I thought I should share that feeling.

Big ups to Mik363 for telling peeps to check out this little thing of mine. I have a new direction to take in my Self Expression project and it ties in with the "suck up to Matt and Ben contest", so I am jazzed because I found a way to beat the system.

I also had a convo with Hawaiichick that reminded me of why I wanted to make movies in the first place. See, I was watching ET, (when it was brand new) and when it got to the part where the feds catch him and cut him open, I was so mad tears were streaming down my face. In that moment I realized that it was just a movie, and I was being MADE to feel the way I was feeling. I thought if someone could make me feel such an attachment for an ugly alien that didn't exist, maybe I could use movies to help people reject racisim. I had forgotten the importance of what I was trying to do, and it took someone 21 years younger than me to remind me of what my life is supposed to be about. Thanks, G! I will not forget again.

Breakdown City

It's the dumpers for me! I am overwhelmed by a passel 'o thangs to do. For those of you who did not know, Project Greenlight is back on, and I am scrambling to come up with something for the director's competition. I really do not have time to screw around here, as the deadline is Oct. 2!!! Meanwhile, the integrity police are all up in mines, and it is driving me batty. I have a project for SELP to manage, a job to find, and bullshit like "leaving every bathroom I visit cleaner than it was when I got there." I may get a tour which will pay the bills that I am using for paper mache, but will screw up everything else. I could also get a gig in Newport Beach. Maybe I should move to NY and become a panhandler. Basically, I'm in a world of sh*t.

At least my girlie called so we could sexually harass each other. It was fun, but we cannot act on anything until she comes out in Oct.

And how was your day?

A thought

It is an interesting time to be alive. On one hand, I have to deal with dubya making it so I cannot go and see all of the planet I was born on, and on the other hand, there is a lot of happiness in my life. I have very little money at this time, but I have NYC, and her entire crew seeing me as completly unstoppable. I am out of integrity in many ways, but I have friends that see me as powerful, inspirational and wildly creative. I have a film to make, and I have very little time to complete it, but I have an army of folks just waiting for me to call them into action.

Sounds like I'm complaining that the glass in half full, huh? Guess I'd better go and fill it up!

Upgrade

It's official. NYC and me is am a couple. I called her last night and told her I didn't want to be "um, friends" anymore, and that I wanted her to be my girlfriend. There are many things to work out, mostly the distance thing, but I will be with her all weekend, so I'm sure we'll get to some of that stuff.

Last night, my friend Carlos registered for the Landmark Forum. Actually I registered him, and it was really cool to see him take the plunge. He is not sure where the money is going to come from, so he not taking the course until January. Here is my bet with him. Now that he is committed, if the money shows up, he will take the course earlier. I believe he will get the money within 2 weeks. I'll keep you posted.

With Carlos, my stats go to 4 guests, 2 registrations, and 1 personal registration. My friend Lucy also registered, but someone else did the paperwork and I got hosed. I only share my stats because I am suddenly able to share the Landmark Forum powerfully with people. I am gaining confidence in this ability. I have been involved in this education since January, and I am just now able to tell people what it is. Anyone I told before, I was trying to fix. I thought I was fixing myself. I finally understand that nobody is in need of fixing, and this is a way of proving that to people. I want to share this with everyone in my life, like I want everyone to have a computer. In 1972, did you think you needed a computer? Do you still feel that way today? In 18 years, everyone is going to be clamoring for this education, and I want my friends and family to be ahead of the game. Lucy is my first friend to go for this opportunity, and I love her for being bold enough to step into it, and actually take ground in having the life she wants. Remind me to get her a James Brown cd!

Wake up call

I read this today, and thought I'd share. Excerpted from "Bling Blinging in the Era of Terror" by Min. Paul Scott

"...To quote Beauford's uncle from Spike Lee's Drop Squad, 'Let me tell you something young brotha. The game they're running on you they developed on your daddy and me. Y'all are just the next phase.'

The Era of Terror that white folks in this country have dealt with over the last year, is something that Black folks have had to deal with since we were kidnapped from Africa and brought here in chains. The South is full of stories of houses and churches bombed by the KKK and other terrorists. The failure of the Hip Hop generation failure to put present day issues in a historical perspective has crippled our advancement. The events of 9/11 made the depressed state of Black culture (in the form of Hip Hop) even more depressing as I heard more than one Hip Hop Talk show host sigh in disgust that 'we really need to become more aware,' in post 9/11 comments.

Call me paranoid, but I think that a society that has prided itself in manipulating Black folks; physically, spiritually and mentally, gains certain strategic advantages when it convinces black youth that "knowing your history" means being able to name all the members of NWA. Did rap crews Cash Money (army) and No Limit (soldiers) with all the videos with brothas riding around in military hummers and tanks so condition the minds of our youth that they have become Manchurian mercenaries; lean, mean fighting machines who will kill at the snap of a finger(or change of a beat) without asking who, what, when why or where? To borrow from Dr. Carter G.Woodson' s "The Miseducation of the Negro" once you control a man's thinking you do not have to worry about how he will act.

When you add this with negative Hip Hop's constant urging for brotha's to get high (drunk, blunted, etc) it is the perfect making for a Stephen King novel. For if your sense of reality has been altered by mind dulling substances, it would be impossible to grasp the seriousness of the times in which we find ourselves. And believe me, anytime white paranoia mixes with a great celebration of the "great white way" historically, it has meant serious times for Black folks. Just ask your grandma how cocky white supremacists can get when there is even the slightest rise in their popularity poll.

We are witnessing the dawn of an era that will make racial profiling look like a walk in the park. And the Freedom of Speech that many in the Hip Hop Nation have misunderstood to mean the right to give explicit details of sex acts or the murdering of another brotha, may fall under the knife of the censoring of anything that does not promote the ideals of white supremacy.

Some young brothers have been brainwashed into swallowing the capitalist idea, hook, line and sinker. Survival of the fittest and the pursuit of the bling, bling, American dream, reigns supreme in the lyrics of hip hop artists. Just look at how many CD's (Jay-Z) sold weeks after 9/11 , even in a time of "national turmoil." Now that we are in a recession (depression for Black folks) can the rappers (playa's, balla's and shot calla's) in good conscience brag about how they have "enough ice on their wrists to freeze their arms" while little Black children are going hungry because Daddy got laid off. How many homeless people can you roll by in your Escalade before the guilt of an over-indulgence in the philosophy of "all about me 'ism" wakes you up at night?"

Min. Paul Scott is founder of the New Righteous Movement based in Durham NC. He recently launched the National Hip Hop Reformation Campaign. For more information contact: operationmedia@yahoo.com

Busy, Busy, Busy!

So busy I forget friends birthdays. So busy I forget my writing group, So Busy I forget to return phone calls, So busy I don't wanna take certain calls when they come through because it will take too long to deal with them. One person kept me on the phone for 8 hours a week or so back. I blamed her for making me late for other commitments, but really... Who was not being responsible for my time and my life?

Me.

I love being busy, I just have to get better at it!

Hump Day

Today is Wednesday, which I'm sure in some language means the day before shit gets out of hand. My weekend officially begins tomorrow, with a long overdue meeting with my writing group, writing the story due for said, buying tickets for street scene(check the link on your left), meeting with my SELP group members for cocktails, inviting guests to my Saturday event for same, finalizing house cleaning stuff since I am expecting guests, etc. In addition, Saturday I start the diet, and exercise I have been putting off since RayGun was in office. I also have boatloads of homework to do for my various pursuits and lots of Landmark assisting. A busy boy indeed...

I am heading to NY next Thursday to see NYC and go to the wedding of her friend as the token L.A. Native in self-imposed exile in San Diego. What should I bring as a present? Carne Asada? I have to figure out how to get NYC to sit down with me and watch the Sopranos on the 15th. With the other shows premiering that night, I'm talking a good 2-3 hours of hbo watching, and NYC gets bored easily, and loves to play with the remote. Maybe I should force her to sit on her hands?

Anyway today I will finally make the Bro-Ghetti, clean the kitchen, (Foolius decided to cook last night, and left to him the dishes will get done after I get back from NY!) Clean the bathroom, and attack the boxes in the living room. My room/office is so clean and open that I am actually blogging in it. A victory over the past! As for the fish tacos, I'll get to them Sunday for my Street Scene guests. Since I'm broke, I'll make them buy the fish, which is great since I will not be able to partake because of my diet.

*Drool* Street Scene means Crawfish! *Drool* If I can't hump, at least I can drool!

Labor Day

Today is a great day, except for the late start I am getting due to La Mer's dumping of Bartles and Jaymes("Thank you for your support") wine coolers(read: malt liquor) into my perfectly innocent Chardonay. No hangover to report, but let's just say I slept real good. And long. I usually wake up at 7am, but slept to past 10a. Curiouser, and curiouser! So today my plan is to clean my pad some more, and make my deadly fish tacos, and because I'm broke as a mickey fickin' joke, I have borrowed a big stock pot to make "Bro-Ghetti". It's spaghetti the way my moms used to make it, in casserole form with the sauce, meatballs, and pasta all mixed together with cheese. It is good, and will last me all week. This is why I call it "Bro-Ghetti", because I only seem to be in the mood for it when I am Broke!

I am actually in the market for a real job. I thought I would never want to work for people again, but I need some bennies and some dependable cache. I haven't been to the Dentist since Bill was helping Monica remember to floss between meals, and I haven't seen a doc since well before that. It has become painfully obvious that I have been slacking in the area of personal well-being, and that has got to stop. Why would someone not take care of their health? Hmmmmm... All of the answers I come up with are pretty ugly, like, not caring about life or avoiding actually living.

You can think about that if you want to, right now, I'm thinking about Fish Tacos with Mango Habanero Salsa, and Sangria for drinking. Maybe I'll invite guests. Maybe I'll call you. Don't take it personally if I don't, though. Today, it's all about me.

Love ya! Mean it!